Signs You’re Being Gaslit by a Doctor (And How to Respond)

You’re Not Crazy, But Your Doctor Might Think You Are

Patient being medically gaslit

Ever walked into a doctor’s office with legit symptoms only to leave questioning your entire existence? Congratulations, my friend, you may have just been medically gaslit. This sneaky, dismissive, and all-too-common practice leaves countless chronic illness warriors feeling unheard, unseen, and untreated. According to an article by Healthline “ If you’re Black, identify as female, or are part of the 2SLGBTQIA+ community, there can be additional barriers to getting the right care for you.” But not today! Let’s break down the classic signs of medical gaslighting and more importantly how to shut it down like the powerhouse you are.

1) "It’s Just Anxiety."

Oh yes, because clearly, your debilitating fatigue, joint pain, and unpredictable flare-ups are just your nerves acting up. If a doctor throws the "just anxiety" card without even running basic tests, consider it a 🚩. Anxiety is real, but it doesn’t cancel out other legitimate health concerns.

How to Respond:

Politely but firmly say, “I understand anxiety can cause physical symptoms, but I would like to rule out other medical conditions first. What tests can we do to investigate this further?”

2) "Your Labs Are Normal, So You Must Be Fine!"

Ah, the classic "Your blood work is perfect, so why are you still here?

Fun fact: Many chronic illnesses (Fibromyalgia, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, some autoimmune diseases) don’t show up on standard lab tests. You can feel like roadkill and still have normal labs.

How to Respond:

Hit them with: “I understand that standard labs may not show everything. Can we explore specialized testing or referrals to a specialist?” Bonus points if you bring research or patient advocacy guides.

3)"Losing Weight Will Fix It."

Oh sure, because a jog around the block is definitely going to reattach my arm, cure my irritable stomach, and fix my bone pain right? While maintaining a healthy weight has its benefits, it’s not a one-size-fits-all solution for chronic illnesses. Brushing off serious symptoms as nothing more than a “weight issue” is not just frustrating—it’s bad medicine.

How to Respond:

Try saying: "I understand that weight can play a role in overall health, but my symptoms started before any changes in my weight. What other potential causes should we explore?

4) "It’s All in Your Head."

Ah yes, the phrase that makes every chronic illness patient want to flip a table. Your symptoms are real, and you deserve a doctor who treats them as such. Gaslighting your pain does not make it disappear.

How to Respond:

Channel your inner CEO, clutch your purse, and do the Viola Davis walk right out of there! Or you could say: “I need a provider who takes my symptoms seriously. If you can’t do that, can you refer me to someone who will?” (Translation: Bye, Felicia! Or for the Gen Z`s boy/girl bye!)

5) "You Just Need to Exercise More."

If stretching cured chronic illness, we’d all be Olympic gymnasts by now watch out Usain Bolt. While movement can help, prescribing exercise without addressing underlying conditions is like putting a bandaid on a broken leg.

How to Respond:

Say this with a straight face: “I appreciate the suggestion, but let’s ensure exercise won’t exacerbate my condition. Can we discuss a plan that takes my limitations into account?”

Now What? How to Advocate for Yourself Like a Pro

If you recognize these gaslighting tactics, don’t panic. Here’s how to reclaim your power:

✅ Document Everything – Keep a symptom journal, record conversations, and take notes at appointments. Use the patient portal so you have a record of the communication and how they responded.

✅ Bring a Support Person – A second set of ears can help keep the doctor accountable. Endure you brief them on what to listen to and look before going inside.

✅ Ask for a Second (or Third) Opinion – If a doctor dismisses you, find one who listens. You deserve care, not condescension.

✅ Be Direct but Polite – You catch more bees with honey, but if needed, don’t be afraid to fire your doctor and move on.

Final Thoughts: You Deserve to Be Heard

Medical gaslighting is frustrating, infuriating, and sometimes downright dangerous. But you are not powerless. Trust your body, trust your experience, and demand the care you deserve. And if a doctor tells you it’s all in your head? Well, tell them you’ll gladly take your very real symptoms elsewhere.